Today, I am lucky enough to have celebrated my 40th birthday. I remember thinking that when my mom turned 40, she was getting old, but now that I am there, I don't feel any older than yesterday! In fact, I feel like I am still 28. 28 was a good year. I felt like I knew who I was, what I was doing, and how I was going to get there. HAH! I was wrong, but I still feel like I am 28-although the body certainly looks like it's getting to 40.
I do have mixed emotions today. Birthdays always make me reevaluate my life. It is like I am on new years day, where everyone makes new year's resolutions-except that I never make resolutions. I do however think-am I a better person than I was last year? Have I done good in my family, home, and community? Have I done the best with what I have been given? With what I have learned? Have I helped others on their path? Have I shown compassion to those in needs? Have I taught by example? Have I gained a bit more patience this year? Have I made a difference? Do my children still love me? How is my relationship with my husband? With my extended family? Am I letting go of what I need to let go? Am I pursuing those things that I need to pursue? And the list goes on...
I guess to simplify, I ask myself: Am I, (in my opinion) better/farther ahead than I was last year? If I am, I know that I am going in the right direction, and all is well. If I feel like I have slid, I know I need focus on that. I think I have learned to be gentler on myself, but I need to only compare myself to myself and not others. That is so hard for me to do, especially when it comes to others who cross paths in my life. Everyone else seems so put together, cuter hair, makeup, figure, more kids, and yet I know that all people have their own demons, insecurities, secrets that they have hidden, just like I do.
So, now that I am 40, it definitely time to stop the comparisons, and be fully happy with who I am. That is my goal for this year. To accept me, to love myself, and take care of myself-because ultimately I am responsible for myself, my personal growth, and my interactions with those around me. Wish me luck, I think I will need the next 365 days to accomplish it!
Luck! I know you can do it! I can't believe I will be 40 in few weeks as well! Where had the time gone. I do think I have grown in some ways and still have lots of growing in others. Comparing has always been one of my favoite things. I hope at 40 I can accomplish the same goal as you be happy with my self and not care what others think! Happy birthday my friend!
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